


High Hopes Lowfat Milk

by Goldstone_Wolf



Series: High Hopes Low (Blank) [13]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), High Hopes Low Rolls (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista Paddock "Paddy" Whitlaw, Bullets, Deaf Character, F/M, Guns, Hashaan is mentioned, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It should have been only fluff, It's just mostly fluff now, Jokes, Lots of Awful Jokes, M/M, This Did Not Go How I Planned, a note about Gwing and Rook being cops, and that any bad ones are fired as soon as they're outed as bad cops, bullet wounds, it is religious, one of the jokes is mildly religious, so let's just assume that they're part of the good cops, this is an au world, tws for, well I say mildly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldstone_Wolf/pseuds/Goldstone_Wolf
Summary: Paddy works at the best coffee shop in Bay Hollow, Arcadon Roast, and the grumpy-as-heck college student who always orders the same thing has caught his eye.He is going to make that boy talk to him and smile if it kills him (and it actually might).
Relationships: Malark Dundragon/Paddock "Paddy" Whitlaw, Rook Lunera/Gwing Veloce
Series: High Hopes Low (Blank) [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692196
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	High Hopes Lowfat Milk

**Author's Note:**

> This one doesn’t have a paper manuscript, unlike the others, so that means y’all might get a fic with less quality than the others because of lower editing. Not that the rest are edited in the slightest, since I’m the only one who sees them before publishing them. Not that I mind—it’s kind of fun.   
> Anyways, TWs are in tags, even though this should be fairly fluffy. Yes, there are some fires where they are, because I needed a reason to explain why Malark had his mask on and I was not going to use COVID as an excuse for that. So I went with fires in the area instead because where I live, there tends to be a few fires every so often. Now…  
> Into the fray!

For the past three weeks, Paddy had been noticing one particular customer almost nonstop.

The young man never gave him a name, just picked up his order from the side counter after getting it online. He was pretty nice-looking, albeit in a rather threatening way. Usually, he wore a mask, not that Paddy blamed him with the smoky state of the air (some fires on the mountains, nothing too threatening). He didn’t have a _bad_ fashion sense, in Paddy’s opinion, but it was fairly plain—just a black hoodie, a chain necklace from some band, and dark jeans. He had combat boots on, too, although Paddy wasn’t sure if that made him count as a scene kid, emo, or just someone who really liked boots. Sometimes the laces would change colour from a pale green to a blue-purple-pink pattern to the same pale sky blue as the young man’s eyes. Not that Paddy noticed his eyes. No, not at all.

“Paddy, you really need some help.” Mina commented one day as the pair were closing up. Avicii’s “Wake Me Up” was playing out of her phone’s speakers, echoing around the now-empty coffeeshop. Blushing, he turned to her.

“Help with what?”

“Your little crush on the kid over there?” She nodded at where said kid usually sat, and Paddy felt his face heat up down to his neck. Of course, when this happened, it only proved that he _did_ need help. “Aw, you’re so cute. Want me to get you his number?”

“What? No!” Running a hand through his hair, Paddy glanced at the empty seat. “That’d be creepy, Mina, and I’m not creepy.”

“ _Right_. It’s not like you’ve been staring at him half the time he’s here during your shifts. Oh, wait, you totally have.” She grinned wickedly at him when he shot her a look.

~

As the weeks went by, Paddy _did_ make some attempts to talk to the young man.

However, no matter how many times he tried talking to the young man, it was like he didn’t even exist. Every so often, the young man would type something on his phone, and Paddy could _not_ figure out why he didn’t just go up to the counter and order something. _Maybe he’s just shy?_

Glancing at the young man, who was still texting away on his phone, Paddy decided that maybe that was it. Or maybe he was being a creeper and really needed to stop. Or both.

Then Terra stopped by and touched his shoulder, asking if he needed a refill, and he paused before reaching up to his ears. Paddy froze, because at first, he thought the kid just had earbuds in. But then he realised they weren’t earbuds.

They were hearing aids.

_Oh, of course. He never reacted because he’s deaf._ Pausing, Paddy glanced over at everyone else in the coffee shop. _Or at least he’s hard of hearing._ As he went back to making coffees, he began playing with a little idea in the back of his mind. It was a stupid idea. It was a _really_ stupid idea.

But it was just as stupid as he was, so it just might work.

~

_Hey._

The boy sitting in the shop window looked up and frowned. _What the heck do you want?_ He demanded, frowning a little bit. Another thing Paddy had forgotten when he was learning—said young man was _grumpy_. Most of the time, he just ignored everyone else around him, including the cashiers. He was polite, but he was…

How could Paddy have forgotten _that_ detail?

_I…I just wanted to say hi._ He stumbled out, fingers slipping on the signs. He wasn’t that good at them yet—he only barely knew how to hold a basic conversation, and even then. He didn’t even know the sign for _gay_ yet, which was kind of important to him in case someone ever asked. _Sorry._

_You should be. Leave me alone._ The young man collected his stuff, got up, and left. Paddy stared after him, cheeks flushing. After his shift finished, as he and Mina were walking up, she went over.

“What was that? Were you talking to him?” She asked, and he hid his face in his hands as he leaned on the counter.

“I think he hates me.” She paused, then glanced at the empty seat. For a few seconds, she didn’t say anything, and then paused.

“Well, I don’t think he hates you. I think he’s more of surprised. Terra was the only one who talked to him in sign and you never showed any signs of learning it.” Right. It had been two weeks since he’d realised the person was deaf, and he didn’t even know his name.

“I don’t even know his name, and I just tried talking to him. What if he thinks I’m weird?” He asked, running a hand into his hair with a groan. “I’m such an idiot. I knew this was a stupid idea.”

Mina bumped his hip with hers, and he glanced at her. “It’s not stupid, it’s sweet. Besides, I know his name.” Smiling at him, she added, “Malark.”

As they packed up, listening to the original _How to Train Your Dragon_ soundtrack, Paddy kept turning the idea over in his head. Mina didn’t seem to care, dancing in the middle of the room as she mopped and humming along, blue hair falling from its normal ponytail like it usually did after work.

And another idea struck him.

He was going to make Malark smile if it killed him (and it just might, actually).

~

So he tried.

And tried.

And tried again.

So far, he’d been telling jokes. _Bad_ jokes, too. Of course, the first time he tried it was a Monday. He walked up to Malark, took a breath, and signed, _Hey._

_What do you want this time?_

For a few seconds, Paddy couldn’t remember what he was about to sign, and Malark stared at him. The young man was _really_ cute, now that he really saw him. Wait, he needed to talk, what was he—right, the joke. _What do you call a shirt made of corn?_

Malark frowned, obviously confused. _What does this have to do with me, exactly?_ Paddy sent him a nervous grin, and Malark seemed to notice Mina and Gwing, one of their best customers, watching from the counter. It was a quiet Monday evening for once, and Arcadon Roast wasn’t usually busy except in the drive-through (where Gimgar was working, because the young woman was the only one who could handle it without screaming, somehow). So the pair were watching them, and Malark’s eyes narrowed just a little bit. _Did they put you up to this?_ Paddy sort of half-shrugged, still with the awkward, idiotic smile, and Malark sighed and replied, _I don’t know. What do you call a shirt made of corn?_

_A crop top._

For a few seconds, Malark stared at him like Paddy had offended every single one of his ancestors and descendants in one go. Then he stood up, collected his stuff, and left without a single word.

Paddy stared after him, then turned to Mina and Gwing, who both shrugged helplessly. Then Rook, who was beside his girlfriend, shot him an awkward thumbs-up, and Paddy half-grinned nervously before glancing outside. Malark was gone, vanishing into the night like an assassin.

The next time he tried talking, he didn’t even get close to the joke.

_What do you want?_ Malark demanded, frowning with narrowed eyes. Paddy swallowed, but Rook gave him a thumbs-up in the corner of his eye, which Malark noticed.

_What did one star say to the other—_

_No._ Then Malark got up and left again, and Paddy sighed. Before he left, he turned to look at Paddy and signed, _Try a better joke, don’t just use a pickup line._

For a few seconds, Paddy stared after him, and then Malark was gone again.

It took five more jokes before he found one that Malark didn’t look at him all confused for. _Hey, Malark, what’s black, red, and white all over? A sunburnt penguin._

_What’s your favourite geological number? Pyrite._

_What did the professor say when the pine tree walked into class? “Everyone, this is the new trans-fir student.”_

_How is the Bible like baseball? Eve stole first and Adam stole second._

_What do you call a dog that’s stuck up a tree? Bark._

The last one he tried, he walked up and paused next to Malark when he realised the young man was sketching something. He quickly covered it with his hand, so Paddy pretended not to notice when they met each other’s gazes. _What is it this time? A cat with no whiskers?_

_No._ Pausing, Paddy took a deep breath. _What did the scientist say to the comedian after his show?_

_I don’t know. What_ did _the scientist say to the comedian after his show?_

_AU, your jokes are gold._ Malark paused, and for a second, Paddy could have sworn he was smiling from the way his eyes scrunched up just a little bit. For a few seconds, he almost thought the young man would burst out laughing. At the very least, he wasn’t giving him a weird look. Then Malark’s watch buzzed on the table, and he glanced over. As he did, Paddy caught a glance of what he’d been drawing.

_Sorry, I have to go._ Malark added, turning to Paddy. When he noticed that Paddy was looking at his sketchbook, he paused and slammed it shut, sweeping it into his bag. _Don’t look at my stuff._ As if to prove this, he shoved Paddy in the chest, then stormed out. Blinking, Paddy watched him go—he thought the sketches were really good, they just confused him.

Mostly because they were of _him_.

~

Malark didn’t show up for a few days after that, at least not during Paddy’s shifts.

“I don’t know why he isn’t. I just…I feel like I messed up.” He whispered, looking at Mina as he slumped on the counter after working again. Today had been more exhausting than usual, and his feet were aching from running around. They’d been oddly busy that day, and he had no clue why. Rolling his shoulders, he glanced outside and noticed someone was pulling up incredibly late. “Wonder who that is.”

The person slammed the car door shut and yanked the doors open, ignoring the closed sign. “I’m sorry, we’re closed.” Mina announced, looking over from where she was mopping the floor. The person was tall, with a hood on and dark clothing. For a few moments, Paddy’s heart was pounding as he wondered if they were about to be robbed at gunpoint.

“Where are Gwing Veloce and Rook Lunera?” It was less a question and more an order, as if he expected the pair to magically appear. “We need to talk with them. Urgently.” He indicated two other people who had appeared in the restaurant, and Paddy stared at them.

“I’m sorry, but Gwing and Rook don’t work here. I don’t know where they could be.” He apologised, stepping between them and Mina. At the very least, he might be able to give her a chance to run if things went wrong, give her a chance to get to the silent alarm under the counter.

Just like he was worried about, the man pulled out a gun and aimed it for Paddy’s chest. His heart dropped, and for a second he simply stared at the barrel. “You’re going to tell me exactly where they are _right now_ , or I’m going to shoot. Stay right there!” One of the other men aimed for Mina, who had moved ever so slightly.

“I need to get to my phone so I can text Gwing and Rook.” She replied, and Paddy whipped around to stare at her with wide eyes. The next thing he knew, pain exploded in his leg as a bullet clipped it and then went into the tile next to him. Crying out, he grabbed his leg and collapsed.

“Don’t move.” The other man threatened, walking over and grabbing Paddy’s shoulder. He braced the gun’s muzzle against the side of Paddy’s head, holding him with a vice-like grip. Looking up, he met Mina’s gaze and added, “You, call them. Tell them to come here. And don’t do anything stupid.”

She nodded, then went and picked up her phone. “Hey, Gwing, Rook. Just wanted you to come swing by Arcadon Roast, just so we can go over our plans for Friday. Oh, some other guests want to talk to you, they’re here right now if that’s okay.” She paused for a second, nodding, “Yeah, pizza’s fine.” Her eyes flicked to Paddy and the others for a second, and then she continued, “Uh, well, I think Paddy would prefer it with pineapple, and some of the others would take cheese.”

The phone call continued, and all Paddy could think of was the cold metal pressed above his ear. Squeezing his eyes shut, he held his breath.

At some point, he must have passed out.

He woke up on the tiles behind the counter with shouting and hands holding the side of his neck. Cracking his eyes open, he glanced up. Mina was standing above him, brandishing a fire extinguisher. She whacked one guy with it, and Paddy briefly saw Gwing wrestling one guy to the ground. Right, she and Rook were police officers. Somewhere, Rook was yelling something that sounded like a DnD spell, and Paddy tried raising his head. His leg was still bleeding from where the bullet had grazed him, and he winced.

Eventually, while Gwing and Rook called for some backup to take care of the criminals, Mina noticed Paddy was awake. “Hey, sweetheart, everything’s okay. Just stay still and stay awake.” Weakly, he nodded, and then subsequently lost several pockets of time.

He barely remembered being loaded into the ambulance.

~

When he returned to work three days later, he was still limping.

The bullet itself hadn’t done too much damage, thankfully, only needing stitches. Still, he had to be careful, unless he wanted to pull said stitches. Wincing, he limped around behind the counter.

“Could you _be_ any slower?” And if the bullet wound in his leg wasn’t a big enough problem on its own…customers were customers.

And customers could be _jerks_.

“Sorry, ma’am, I’m trying my best. I got hurt—” She’s still staring at him with narrowed eyes, and he just _knows_ she’s seen the pin on his apron. It’s just a little black thing with ‘love’ in rainbow hue, nothing overt. But when she sees it, she wrinkles her nose with disgust and her eyes narrow. “I’ll try to work faster.”

“There’s no point. If I drink that, I’m going to turn into one of _you_.” She practically hissed the word, and he flinched. “I’m changing my order, you’re going to put something in my drink otherwise.”

“Ma’am, you’re going to have to get back in line to do that—”

“No, we’ll do it right here. Or do you want me to call your—” She doesn’t get through the sentence, because _Malark_ appears and starts signing something at the counter.

“Sorry, I need to take this. Mina, can you handle it?” The woman gawps in surprise as Paddy steps over to the counter. Mina goes over and starts chatting it up with the lady, calmly explaining that she needed to leave the store. No one wanted to deal with Hashaan—the store manager treated her employees like they were her children, and any customer who dealt with them wrongly (particularly for who they liked) would face her wrath. Meeting Malark’s gaze, Paddy signed, _Thank you. What do you want to order?_

For a few moments, Malark hesitated. All of a sudden, he seemed a little jumpy. _What do you call frozen corn?_

Pausing and blinking, Paddy signed back, _I don’t know. What?_

_A popcorn-sicle._ It was awful, it was an awful joke and Paddy knew that. He just laughed, though, and Malark grinned behind his mask. After signing over his order and paying, Malark added, _By the way, I want something else, but it’s not on the menu?_

_What is it?_

_How about your number?_

Paddy froze in the middle of writing Malark’s name on the cup.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know why I included the gunpoint scene, I just wanted to have a scene where Gwing and Rook were awesome because that’s what they are. Also, I wanted to have a reason for Malark to be worried, I guess, and an excuse for someone to use a fire extinguisher as a weapon again (Look at “Lions Sit in Solemn Lines” or “Until the Morning Comes Around” for more explanation; they’re Teen Wolf fics).   
> The signing in the story is based off ASL, at least in my head. I completely ignored ASL Order for this, and shifted it around. Most of the fancy wording doesn’t happen in ASL, you really get straight to the point and that’s one of the things I like about it.


End file.
